1 Year Ago...

Most of the time I love the "On This Day" section of Facebook. Admittedly, I have lots of photos on my hard drive and on my phone, but when I see the Facebook posts with photos and comments, I'm immediately taken back to a year to multiple years ago. Most of the time, it makes me happy...

These next two weeks are going to be extremely difficult though. We are coming up on one year since my dad went to Heaven. It's been almost a year since I stood in my bedroom, packing to drive to Maryland with the kids, and saw Adam walk in to the bedroom. The second I saw him, I knew. I knew that my world was about to change forever.

A year ago, dad went in for a surgery to fix his vocal cords. The surgery was a success, for a time, and dad got his voice back. For at least a day, the kids and I could clearly talk to my dad on the phone and I could hear him say "I love you tiger bunny." I'll never know why that was his nickname for me, but it always will be. God gave that to us; He gave us the chance to hear dad's voice again. I miss his voice, but I know he's finding other ways to "talk" to us now.

This past year has been tough, and it will always be tough. My dad was such a fighter, and he knew his girls were fighters too. On that last day, in those last minutes, we made a promise to dad that we would take care of one another and that we would be ok. A year later, we are ok, more or less. There are times when we cry and there are times when we laugh...and both are ok. Just in writing this blog post, I've gone through probably half a box of tissues. That's completely ok; it's why we buy tissues in bulk!

This past year has been so many ups and downs. There's been a scholarship in dad's memory that has been endowed and a fireplace at his beloved German Club with his name on it. Dad wouldn't like all the attention, but he would love the gestures. And in those greatest of moments, we find a way to honor dad and his memory (or his SOL sometimes). At the fireplace dedication, Gretchen and I decided that it wouldn't be fitting to be an Oaksmith Leadership Court without dancing on the fireplace...so we did. While we know that dad would have given us the SOL, we also know that he would get it.

Left: German Club Basement - Fireplace dancing (2008); Right: Oaksmith Leadership Court (aka, SOL Court) (2015)

We continue to take care of one another, just as we told dad that we would. The quote, "You never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have," is absolutely true. We choose to be strong; it's what dad expects us to be. He knew that he could take on a new role as our guardian angel because he knew that we'd be ok, and most days we are. The days where we aren't, we talk to dad. And every so often, we get a sign that he's still with us. In fact, the other night during the Lunar Eclipse, the moon was blocked by clouds. I asked dad to help me out and blow the clouds away, if only for a second. In the next instant, the clouds moved and I could see the moon. Some may say that it was just the wind, but I choose to believe that it was dad.

To our family and friends, I can't even begin to tell you how much the support and outpouring of love has meant to us. I often say "our cup runneth over," and I absolutely mean it. You, our family and friends, have been there with us and for us every step of the way, beginning in December of 2013 when we first got the news that dad had esophageal cancer. You have cried and laughed with us. You've held our hands and given us hugs. You've prayed with us and for us. We are forever grateful for that and are so very thankful to have some of the best friends and family God could have ever put in our lives.

We know that dad is with us every day, all day and that we will see him again some day. In the meantime though, we are holding on to our memories and are continuing to make new ones. We are living as he taught us, with no regrets. We love you and miss you so much dad. Until we meet again...

Photo by J. Shipley Photography

Dad's Memorial Service

Here is the link to dad's memorial video. Dad always had a great smile, and he got to do so many wonderful things in his 59 years. Our hearts are still heavy, and we miss him every day. We know he is in Heaven looking over us though.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hD5Dy83FzZU

Scholarship in Dad's Memory

Thank you for being patient with us. Here is the information for my Dad's scholarship fund. My Mom, Lindsay and I are working through the details of who will receive the scholarship, but you can start to donate. We won't be able to endow the scholarship until we reach a certain level of money, but the First Command Educational Foundation (FCEF) will continue to gather money for as long as it takes. Dad's bio is also included on that page via a link.

Go to: https://www.fcef.com/scholarships/
Scroll down to the Sid Oaksmith Scholarship Fund and follow the instructions.

Or:
To donate to the Sid Oaksmith Scholarship Fund, please click here.  (Use your “tab” key to move from field to field on each PayPal page.)
Your donation will be made through PayPal; you don’t need a PayPal account to donate to FCEF.
To designate your donation to this fund, please enter “Sid Oaksmith Scholarship Fund” in the “Add special instructions to the seller” field on the payment review page
The transaction will appear on your credit card statement as “PayPal *FCEF”.

Or:
You can also donate via check. If you would like to donate via check please make it payable to "FCEF" and put "Sid Oaksmith Scholarship" in the memo field. You want to mail it to:
First Command c/o Gretchen Butler
121 Cathedral St.
Annapolis, MD 21401

Dad's Bio

COL (Ret) Sidney G. Oaksmith

COL (Ret) Sidney G. Oaksmith was born in Annapolis, Maryland on 30 May 1955, the son of Billy and Grace Oaksmith. After a long battle with esophageal cancer, Sid went to be with the Lord on 9 October 2014.

He graduated from Annapolis Senior High School in 1973 and attended Florida Southern College in Lakeland, Florida where he joined Army ROTC. COL (Ret) Oaksmith graduated from Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University (Virginia Tech) in 1977 with a Bachelor of Science degree in Forestry. Upon graduation, he was commissioned a Second Lieutenant in the Army in the basic branch of Field Artillery where he served for over 26 years.

COL (Ret) Oaksmith attended the Field Artillery Officer Basic and Advanced Courses at Fort Sill, Oklahoma and is a graduate of the Armed Forces Staff College in Norfolk, Virginia and the US Army War College at Carlisle Barracks, Pennsylvania. He also graduated from Airborne, Air Assault, and Ranger Schools.

His assignments include two tours in the Federal Republic of Germany with the 75^th Field Artillery Command and 56^th Field Artillery Command and assignment to the 101^st ABN Division. He served in both Operations DESERT SHIELD and DESERT STORM as a Brigade Fire Support Officer for 1^st Brigade, 101^st ABN Division (AASLT). COL (Ret) Oaksmith has also served as a Political-Military Planner, Directorate for Strategic Plans and Policy (J5), Office of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Washington, DC. His commands include command of 8-inch and Pershing II Missile batteries in the Federal Republic of Germany, command of the 6^th Battalion, 37^th Field Artillery (MLRS) in the Republic of Korea, and command of the 17^th Field Artillery Brigade in Fort Sill, Oklahoma. He also served as the Director of the Commander’s Action Group with the US Central Command at MacDill Air Force Base in Florida.

His awards include the Legion of Merit, Bronze Star Medal, Meritorious Service Medal, Joint Service Commendation Medal, Army Commendation Medal, and Army Achievement Medal.

Upon retiring from the Army, Sidney began his civilian career as a business developer for L-3 MPRI National Group in Alexandria, Virginia. He later went on to be Vice President of Operations for L-3 MPRI Training Technology Group (TTG) in Columbia, Maryland. He left the defense contracting world, and went to work for First Command Financial Services in Annapolis, Maryland where he could enjoy life and help people achieve financial peace of mind.

He loved his Alma Mater, Virginia Tech, and his band of brothers at the German Club. He was a devout Christian, who had great faith in God. He had a great love of country and those he had the pleasure of serving with during his long career. As he said in one of his speeches, “There is no greater love I have except love of God and family, than love of each one of you.”

Sidney Oaksmith is survived by his wife and high school sweetheart of 37 year, Rebecca Smyth Oaksmith. They have two daughters, Gretchen Oaksmith Butler and Lindsay Oaksmith O’Donnell, who are married to Ben Butler and Adam O’Donnell. He has four grandchildren, Joshua Butler, Ashley Butler, Payton O’Donnell, and Austin O’Donnell. He is also survived by his sister Barbara Smith (Jim), brother Gene Oaksmith (Claudia), and sister Lyn Englert (Bob) and his mother-in-law Peg Smyth, brother-in-law Jeff Smyth (Myra) and sister-in-law Corry Atwell (Steve), as well as numerous nieces, nephews, and cousins. Sidney is preceded in death by his parents, Billy and Grace Oaksmith, his father-in-law Ken Smyth, and his brother-in-law Peter Smyth.

The family is working to set up a scholarship fund in his memory. In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to the scholarship fund. Information will be posted to www.fcef.com/scholarships/ once the fund is established.

For more information on memorial services for my dad, visit the Memorial Services for Dad blog post.

Memorial Services for Dad

We are working on setting up a scholarship fund in dad's memory, so in lieu of flowers, we ask that you hang tight with us and we'll get that information out once we know.

Memorial Gathering
John M Taylor Funeral Home
147 Duke of Gloucester St
Annapolis, MD 21401
Monday, October 13, 2014
2-4 PM and 6-8 PM

Memorial Service
Trinity United Methodist Church
1300 West St
Annapolis, MD 21401
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
10:30 AM

Reception to follow at the house

Burial
Crownsville Veteran's Cemetery
1122 Sunrise Beach Rd
Crownsville, MD 21032
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
10 AM

Update on Dad 10/8/14

Last update of the day. Today was a pretty good day. Austin, my (Lindsay) youngest, was saying 2 names all morning: Ashley and grandpa. We got to call him on our way to a basketball game and the kids got to say hi and love you and hear grandpa say it back to them. It is those little moments that are so beautiful and such a blessing. There is also good news to report on dad.
1st - Dad got hooked up to food. He hadn't eaten since Thursday, so this was pretty awesome. He is currently getting food through a tube in his nose that goes straight to his esophagus. He is at 15ml an hour and he will work towards 55ml an hour over the next day or so.
2nd - Dad got up and walked down the hall. He made it down and back about 5 hotels rooms in length. Again, more fabulous news. He hadn't walked since the Friday of the surgery. He was tired, but more from lack of food and muscle mass as opposed to being out of breath. He found is easier to breath...so that's awesome too!
3rd - Dad got news from the ENT that he will have his vocal chord plumped up Friday!!!! His new ENT will put in some sturdier collagen that will hopefully be a little more resilient. And he can make it a little bigger than last time. So maybe he will be able to swallow again!!! And he will be able to talk again!!!

All in all a pretty good day.

This quote seems fitting today. Our family has a tradition of watching White Christmas every year. I think the words of this song are particularly fitting today:
When I'm worried and I can't sleep
I count my blessings instead of sheep
And I fall asleep counting my blessings

Update on Dad 10/3/14

Update on Dad. He is recovering in CCU. He is alert, but sleepy. He was confused as to what was happening because this was not in the initial plan. He has had over 2 liters of fluid taken off his lungs. His blood pressure is good. Oxygen is flowing throughout his body nicely. He is still on the ventilator, but hopefully not for long. His surgeon was saying how dad doesn't like to do anything by the book. But the positive is, my mom didn't have to learn how to "nurse" the catheter. Thanks for all the prayers and well wishes. Gretchen took her out to Paladar for a drink and dinner before mom goes home and sleeps, and they were both crying in the restaurant from all the love and support. We love you all! You have all been amazing to our entire family.

Mom has been reading a book about a young man that went to West Point and then on to Ranger School. While Sid was in surgery, mom was reading about the ordeals of ranger school. He was saying not many make it through from those that start and without any recycling through sections to pass. Dad made it through without recycling! He is Army strong. We know he will make it through this. We love all you that are holding him up in prayer.