1 Year Ago...

Most of the time I love the "On This Day" section of Facebook. Admittedly, I have lots of photos on my hard drive and on my phone, but when I see the Facebook posts with photos and comments, I'm immediately taken back to a year to multiple years ago. Most of the time, it makes me happy...

These next two weeks are going to be extremely difficult though. We are coming up on one year since my dad went to Heaven. It's been almost a year since I stood in my bedroom, packing to drive to Maryland with the kids, and saw Adam walk in to the bedroom. The second I saw him, I knew. I knew that my world was about to change forever.

A year ago, dad went in for a surgery to fix his vocal cords. The surgery was a success, for a time, and dad got his voice back. For at least a day, the kids and I could clearly talk to my dad on the phone and I could hear him say "I love you tiger bunny." I'll never know why that was his nickname for me, but it always will be. God gave that to us; He gave us the chance to hear dad's voice again. I miss his voice, but I know he's finding other ways to "talk" to us now.

This past year has been tough, and it will always be tough. My dad was such a fighter, and he knew his girls were fighters too. On that last day, in those last minutes, we made a promise to dad that we would take care of one another and that we would be ok. A year later, we are ok, more or less. There are times when we cry and there are times when we laugh...and both are ok. Just in writing this blog post, I've gone through probably half a box of tissues. That's completely ok; it's why we buy tissues in bulk!

This past year has been so many ups and downs. There's been a scholarship in dad's memory that has been endowed and a fireplace at his beloved German Club with his name on it. Dad wouldn't like all the attention, but he would love the gestures. And in those greatest of moments, we find a way to honor dad and his memory (or his SOL sometimes). At the fireplace dedication, Gretchen and I decided that it wouldn't be fitting to be an Oaksmith Leadership Court without dancing on the fireplace...so we did. While we know that dad would have given us the SOL, we also know that he would get it.

Left: German Club Basement - Fireplace dancing (2008); Right: Oaksmith Leadership Court (aka, SOL Court) (2015)

We continue to take care of one another, just as we told dad that we would. The quote, "You never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have," is absolutely true. We choose to be strong; it's what dad expects us to be. He knew that he could take on a new role as our guardian angel because he knew that we'd be ok, and most days we are. The days where we aren't, we talk to dad. And every so often, we get a sign that he's still with us. In fact, the other night during the Lunar Eclipse, the moon was blocked by clouds. I asked dad to help me out and blow the clouds away, if only for a second. In the next instant, the clouds moved and I could see the moon. Some may say that it was just the wind, but I choose to believe that it was dad.

To our family and friends, I can't even begin to tell you how much the support and outpouring of love has meant to us. I often say "our cup runneth over," and I absolutely mean it. You, our family and friends, have been there with us and for us every step of the way, beginning in December of 2013 when we first got the news that dad had esophageal cancer. You have cried and laughed with us. You've held our hands and given us hugs. You've prayed with us and for us. We are forever grateful for that and are so very thankful to have some of the best friends and family God could have ever put in our lives.

We know that dad is with us every day, all day and that we will see him again some day. In the meantime though, we are holding on to our memories and are continuing to make new ones. We are living as he taught us, with no regrets. We love you and miss you so much dad. Until we meet again...

Photo by J. Shipley Photography